Guitarist Shocked When Band Doesn’t Notice His New Axe

by | Nov 25, 2019 | Humor

Jerry Davis of local cover band Dizzy Dirty hadn’t purchased a new guitar in a long time. For years he had been alternating between his prized Squire and an old Gibson SG that he inherited from his uncle.

“Both of those guitars are beat to shit,” Davis explains. “I’ve been wanting to get a new axe for a long time now, so I’ve been saving up money from Uber driving to get something fresh.”

With cash in hand, Davis strutted into Guitar Center and gently lifted his dream axe off of the hook.

“I’ll take this one!” Davis exclaimed to nobody.

He was certain that his bandmates would be blown away by his purchase. He made sure to get a few new sets of strings, some picks, and a bottle of guitar polish so it would be sure to look shiny and new.

The case was clean and black. His other cases were strewn with dirty old bumper stickers and his name spray painted on both sides, so he was sure that the rest of the band would be wise to his acquisition even before he opened it up.

Davis arrived early to the gig — proudly carrying his new guitar. He was especially psyched that the handle was attached without the aid of paper clips or string.

As the other band members filed in, Davis set up his amp and pedals, but left the new beauty in the case, hoping someone would notice the shiny finish. But nobody did, as they were too occupied with determining what the band discount was for drinks. “They’ll see it when I do sound check,” Davis muttered to himself.

With no recognition of his new baby, the band rocked the first set. At one point bassist looked over and smiled. “He knows… I know it,” Davis thought. “I bet he’ll say something on break.”

But the break came and went without any mention of gear. Half of the band was more interested in smoking a blunt out back, while the other members just hung out with their girlfriends.

To Davis’ amazement, the band played the entire gig and never mentioned anything about his new guitar. Not the amazing tone, not the unchipped paint, not the killer leather strap…nothing.

Although the gig went well, Davis was pissed at the end of the night.

“Hey guys!” he shouted over the jukebox. “What do you think of my new guitar? Isn’t it awesome!?”

The rest of the band looked up, then looked away. “Yeah, cool man,” said the singer. “You were out of tune most of the night.”

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  1. You get to wear sunglasses indoors without anyone questioning your sanity.
  2. Your office attire consists of leather jackets and ripped jeans.
  3. The only deadlines you have are for getting to the gig on time, and even that’s a stretch.
  4. Your job perks include free drinks, adoring fans, and the occasional hotel room trashing.

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