“Arms Folded Guy” Pissed That Band Doesn’t Notice Him

by | Oct 29, 2019 | Humor

Chad had heard that local cover band “Stop That Pigeon” was playing at The Sock Hole — a popular weekend nightclub for live entertainment — but wasn’t all that psyched about seeing them. 

“Well, I went to high school with a couple of those guys years ago,” Chad recalled. “I didn’t really know them, though. I played in the marching band while those clowns wasted their time in the garage jamming rock songs. They didn’t even know theory, man! I never thought they could amount to anything.”

Against his will, Chad’s girlfriend Jessica dragged him out on a hot and humid Saturday evening to see the show.

“I don’t fucking care how warm it is, Jess,” Chad exclaimed. “I’m wearing my long sleeve plaid shirt. It’s my thing!”

While Jessica and her bestie Tara made a beeline for the bar to pound kamikaze shots, Chad clung to his resistance.

“These guys are gonna suck.”

As the band tore seamlessly into one hit cover song after another, Chad grew increasingly irritated.

“These idiots can’t even write their own songs,” he muttered to himself, while refusing to acknowledge the people dancing around him.  

The STP band was on fire that night, but it did nothing to sway arms folded guy’s (AFG) opinion. Chad made sure to strategically position himself where the band could see him, but not too close to the stage as to give off the impression that he was interested. 

“I just cemented myself in front of the pillar on the side,” admitted AFG. “I was mentally criticizing everything they were doing, and I was positive that they would see me and be intimidated by my presence. They MUST remember me from back in the day!”

As the night rolled on, STP remained laser focused and put on one of its best shows of the year.

When asked later if they noticed their old classmate in the crowd, guitarist “Shred” Fred Martin responded, “Ummm…who?”

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  1. You get to wear sunglasses indoors without anyone questioning your sanity.
  2. Your office attire consists of leather jackets and ripped jeans.
  3. The only deadlines you have are for getting to the gig on time, and even that’s a stretch.
  4. Your job perks include free drinks, adoring fans, and the occasional hotel room trashing.

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